Judgey-Wudgey: 'Friends With Benefits' New York Premiere

Winter is to awards season as Summer is to movie premieres. Summer is when the movies come out, the actors borrow fancy frocks for a night and pose like they are contractually obligated. These bitches gotta earn a dolla'.

'Friends With Benefits' is the new comedy starring some good-looking young Hollywood people. We don't really care what the movie is about, as Carrie Bradshaw says of movie premieres, 'no one goes to the movie'. All we care about is what they wore and if there is any bitchy back story.

Two of the films biggest stars failed to disappoint on the red carpet in hot summer colours. Mila Kunis took the sexy route in Lanvin Resort 2012. Love off-the-shoulder, love the ruching but I feel the length here makes her look short. I like a mid calf length but she needed to stay on the shorter side of midi. I'm not feeling the black satin slippers. From the knees down she looks about 80.

Mila battled for attention on the red carpet with co-star Emma Stone. Emma went in a more fashion forward direction in Gambattista Vialli Fall 2011. For me a simple red cashmere sweater with a silk peplum skirt in hot pink is perfection. A simple piece with a more complicated piece. I love the combinations of red and pink and here nude shoes were the perfect compliment.

I love this picture of them posing together. Mila is thinking, 'I'm way hotter than you, so hot I only need to wear one colour', Emma is giving me, 'At least I look like I have a brain, bitch'.

As usual the rent-a-crowd attention seekers showed up, wearing very little.

Model Irina Shayk showed all the girls and women worldwide that a real model can wear a dress that's cut up to 'the good china' and not look like a slut.

Jessica Perez is a model that took a slightly more demure direction. It's still tight and short but the one-shoulder saves her from whore-hood. I love the colour, it's so strange how popular this autumny burgundy is this summer.

I'm between a rock and a hard place trying to decide who looks more like a street walker, Julie Henderson or Emmanuelle Chriqui.

Entourage star Emmanuelle pulled out all the stops having this lovely shade of red painted on to her. The nude shoe is ironic given that her dress leaves very little to the imagination.

Julie Henderson looks like a Vegas working girl, too short, too tight and vulgar. I just cannot cope with how awful this dress is. The pulling going on in that excuse of a skirt is distracting.

This was an interesting premiere as the red carpet was not only trampled on by the pretty young starlets trying to steal the limelight in bright, tight and slight dresses.

Co-star Jenna Elfman, well, she did her best. A tall, slim woman, it is shocking how clothes always make her look bulky. Even a strapless white mini dress, which in fairness she shouldn't be going next nor near, make her look thick in the waist, hips and bosom. Now I'm pretty sure that wasn't the aim. All she wanted was to be accepted and fit in with the young people. She should have at least covered her shoulders, a black tuxedo jacket would have given her some shape. The hair is good, accessorising is a bit wobbly but at least she looks better than last time we saw her. Never go there again, Jenna.

Socialite and fashion clothes-horse, Olivia Palermo showed up just of the set of Little House on the Prairie.

Aussie actress, Melissa George also failed to impress. Now in fairness to her she clearly got the call late and had to come straight from a barbecue.

Another Entourage gal, Perry Reeves look super fierce and modern in this futuristic print and strappy black sandals. Fashion forward without trying to look 23.

One of the movie's more mature stars, Patricia Clarkson, looked beyond fabulous and totally age appropriate in this gorgeous lace and chiffon over-lay dress. Classy is as classy does.

Last up we have Oprah's BFF, Gale King. Oh Gale what happened to you. If your stylist did this ridiculous matchy, cartoon accessorising. Honestly I would have him/her excommunicated from anything Harpo related. Its a shame because the dress is gorgeous as is hair and make-up. I can still see the shoes when I close my eyes.

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